The Confessions of An Ugly Duckling
By tammyswallow
Quack, Quack, Quack
We have all heard this expression at some time or another, "She is so ugly, you have to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her." This expression applied to me for most of my life. I grew up hearing it all from people constantly asking, "Did your parents beat you with an ugly stick all night" and "do you have a license to be that ugly." Jocks were the cruelest of all saying things like "do you still love nature despite what it did to you?"
I did not start off as an ugly baby, I just got stuck in that "awkward childhood stage" until the age of 18. I was born with a facial skeletal / orthodontic deformity called anterior cross bite (also called an under bite) in which I was born with a misaligned jaw. This condition caused my front teeth to come in between my back teeth. I barley had an upper lip. This is the classic look of a typical bulldog who is genetically predisposed to this condition due to breeding and genetics. It isn't a desired look for a human being.
Anterior cross bites are caused by heredity. The condition is the result of a malformation in either the lower or upper jaw during growth, resulting in a lower jaw that is larger than its counterpart. It is a very painful condition that causes headaches, problems chewing, speech disorders, and can lead to TMJ (lock jaw). This happens more commonly in the baby teeth of young children where it does not require treatment. In teens and young adults, correction is highly recommended.
The Effects of Bullying
High rates of depression and anxiety
Sadness and loneliness
3X Greater chance of suicide
Decreased school performance
Health problems
Absence from school in fear of bullies
Violence from supressed anger
Dealing with Bullies
Soon after I lost my baby teeth and crooked adult teeth and a misaligned jaw became my new look, the bullying began. Classmates on the school bus would jeer and make deformed faces as I walked by. In school, things progressed and the name calling and insults got worse and worse.
Lucky for me I was raised in a home where looks were not particularly important. Even though my parents had to tie the pork chop around my neck to get the dog to play with me, my family emphasized grades, intellect, and physical fitness. For this reason I was not obsessed with appearance but I had difficulty figuring out why others were so preoccupied with it.
In junior high school the bullying was unbearable. I knew I could not change my looks but I had to do something to deal with the pain and ridicule. At the age of 13 I had enough of the pettiness. Instead of withdrawing from the ridicule, I fought back with a new found arsenal- verbal assault. I became a master of linguistic self defense. Sure, it got me many trips to the Principal's office and quite a few paddlings, but what I lacked in good looks I made up for in intellect and a colorful vocabulary. Soon, the bullies tired of the tongue lashings and stopped with the taunting. Though I wasn't popular outside of my circle of what turned out to be life long friends, people learned it just wasn't much fun bullying me any more.
My Transformation
I could not receive treatment for this problem until all my adult teeth had erupted at the age of 14. I had several consultations with surgeons and orthodontists, many who wanted the opportunity for a real challenge. My family and I chose the only orthodontist who proposed treatment without removing and replacing my bottom jaw. My only request was that I didn't have to wear the dreaded head gear to school.
Because my upper jaw was small and compressed, braces were not an option for me. To make room to shift my upper jaw and teeth, I first had to have two molars pulled, one on each side. This still didn't provide the needed room to shift my teeth. The orthodontist cemented a device in the roof of my mouth called a Palatal Expander Device. The expander was enormous and each day, my mother had to "expand" my upper jaw by inserting and turning a key in the middle of the device which, in turn, expanded the roof of my jaw and my facial skeletal bones. With each turn of the key I experienced gut wrenching pain which would throb all night long. Eating was impossible as even the fake giblets in a can of chicken soup were to painful for me to eat. As soon as I would become accustomed to the pressure, the key would need to be turned again and the cycle would continue. There were nights the pain was so intense, I would cry through the night. My parents felt bad and asked if I wanted to get it removed and follow another route of treatment. Realizing the financial burden my orthodontic treatment was on the family budget and really being motivated to loose the under bite, I didn't want to turn back. I developed a threshold for pain.
I wore this device for 18 months and by the end, the expansion in my mouth was apparent. Unfortunately, it was made between my two front teeth. I had a gap big enough to insert my thumb. If my previous condition wasn't enough to entice insults from bullies, this gap brought the rude comments to a new level.
I was now ready for two years of braces, bands, and retainers. After expanding my upper pallet for 18 long months, it was time to bring it back in. I wore braces on my top and bottom teeth. The gap in my teeth was gone in three months. At this point I was 17 and my looks began to change drastically. Not only did I have a normal face, I had became very thin after months of not being able to eat. I also obtained my driver's license. I had my braces removed in time for my senior pictures.
I suddenly found that people were treating me different. The insults stopped. Boys started to ask me out. Popular people; once my tormentors, started talking to me. I was invited to parties, dances, and events. It was psychologically difficult to process as I had built up very protective emotional walls to protect myself from these very same people. These same people wanted nothing to do with me when I didn't look like this. I was offended how quickly they forgot their cruel words, insults and actions. People's shallowness inspired a deep anger in me that I would not shake until adulthood and made me an advocate against bullying in all forms towards all victims.
Life Today
As an adult, I learned to appreciate my childhood torment as a blessing. As my anger subsided, I realized that I was indeed fortunate in life for a realistic view of how people really treat others. I learned to appreciate my best friend who stuck with me through first grade and even today, no matter what I look like. I learned first hand that are people in this life that truly love you for who you are and not because they have something to gain. I learned that beauty is something you own regardless of what you look like on the outside. Beauty is not equated to any person's value as a human being. Many people who are beautiful on the outside are hollow and ugly on the inside. I learned not every young woman becomes a beautiful swan at the same rate as others. I will never abandon the ugly duckling within me. I nurture her and cherish her and fully accept her. Most of all I learned, blondes really do have more fun.
Hubpages on Bullying:
- The Punky Wunkies, Part One
Part one of a short story about an Israeli girl in fifth grade in the United States on a quest for true friendship. Who are friends? Those who want us for friends or those that we want? Who gets to decide? - The Bully in Me
Learn to recognise your internal bully. Do you have an internal bully and if so, is it active and how active? Could it be making your life a lot harder than need be?
Have You Experienced Bullying as a Child?
See results without votingComments
Tammy, what an interesting and fascinating story! It's sad that you had to go through all that during your youth but you came out the other side a swan. Though I beg to differ with you, I don't see an ugly duckling in any of these pics! I'm sure your experiences helped make you the strong, beautiful woman you are today. Thanks for sharing it!
P.S. Well, I was going to share this on the HH group on FB but I see it has already been done!
Although you are beautiful now, I don't think you were ugly then. I mean few of us are "beautiful" as children...well I did have a cousin that was, she looked like Liz Taylor as a child only more beautiful really. But remembering back to my friends in school...there was no beauties and albums prove it! Maybe your insecurity allowed the bullying. Well sure glad you feel good about yourself now, we all just have to make the best of what we were dealt!
Thanks Tammy, I will always love you no matter what!
I love this hub. I think every teenager struggling with their identify and self-worth should read it. Thanks for your bravery in sharing your difficult but worthwile growing pains. I think many will be able to relate and value your experience.
Tammy, I totally agree with Aya and poetic fool. You were never ugly. I find it astonishing that you would be bullied because of your looks.
Very interesting hub nevertheless.
This was brilliantly written Tammy. I can completely relate. I was made fun of and harassed growing up for my voice (really high pitched, almost like tweety) and my hand me down clothes which were not the most stylish. However, like you my parents emphasized me being a smart, well-rounded person instead of someone caught up in the allure of looks and popularity.
I knew alot of girls who spent their time caught up in boys who only wanted to hook up with them, meaningless bullying, and friendships that were based on status and appearances. But as school ended, all of that faded as well. And I think they finally realized they had nothing to live for either.
Thankfully I saw the other side of things and got to have a great life post-bullying. Voted way up!
I really don't see why anyone would call you ugly. I think you were a cute little girl that bloomed into a beautiful woman. I know what its like to be bullied. I was always tall for my age and towered over mostly all of my classmates. The jokes to me were stuff like Here comes the Jolly Green Giant, dumb cloud jokes and so on. Thanks for sharing this story.
No one is ugly. No matter what others say no one is. All matters what is on the inside.
Awww...though you talk about having a jaw deformity, you have characterized what so many of us endured through those awkward teenage years. I can only see out of my left eye, and my right eye doesn't follow very well. Though I loved the academic part of school during the middle and high school years, my social life was sheer agony. I never looked anyone in the eye if I could help it. I still try not to - it's not that I care that much, but explaining to people always makes me crazy. In any case, we all have our little "things" to contend with and in many ways I think these obstacles really add to our character so that we shine as adults. PS - I was always told I was homely. I can so identify with this hub.
Wow this is really a hard hub to swallow... it brought back many memories for me... and while I didn't have the actual deformities that needed to be fixed, I did have a weight issue. To top it off, my parents didn't have much money which resulted in clothes that were used or hand me downs. I was teased ruthlessly by this and often found I didn't make friends easier. As an adult... I still feel the pangs of it. I still dont' feel like I match up to others and they are always better. Children and adults are still very much the same... I am happy that I have grown to like myself now... whereas when I was younger... I didn't feel that way.
Beautiful hub... regardless of which picture I see... I can tell you are beautiful on the inside and on the outside.
Hugs, Girl! You have been and always will be beautiful to me! You are a gifted writer.
People can be so cruel and kids are the worst! Everyone can be a target for the bullies. It doesn't matter if there is anything 'different' about you or not. They will find something to single you out for. How pathetic they are. Who'd want to be like them anyway! Good for you for standing up to them. Sadly, it seems there are bullies in all walks of life.
Our childhood is a time we are riddled with insecurities without having the trauma of bullying to deal with too! You learnt from an early age how shallow the world can be. I'd like to say it's changed but i'm afraid that would not be true! We place far too much emphasis on looks.
You are beautiful Tammy inside and out!
You were and are always a beautiful person, that is obvious. Thanks for writing this hub, a great read for teens and adults alike. Horrible how people are. Like many people on here, I wish physical appearance was way down on the list of attributes stressed today.
Superb anti-bullying hub! Way to go! You need to send this hub to Ellen Degeneres, I bet she will have you on her show! Heck I'm tweeting it to Ellen! Hold up Ellen is following me on Twitter, I'm sending her a link. You were an adorable kid and a beautiful woman. Keep doing what you are doing because it's working for you. I was the badass by the way. Ha! Awesome hub!
Aaw Tammy! I can relate in so many ways. I was/am? the Ugly Duckling. Red hair, freckles, scrawny, and shy as can be growing up. I was picked on ALL the time. Im glad you grew up to come into your own and you are beautiful INSIDE and outside. Im making my way there - but I still suffer from all the negativity. Great Hub - love you!
From the photographs, it's hard to imagine you were an ugly duckling. Your beauty was always there! I detest the way that kids bully other kids with no thought of the damage they can do. Your story is great, and shows how much difference strong support at home can make. Your inner strength manifested itself at an early age, thank goodness! Great hub!
OMG Tammy, my heart so goes out to you. And you are soooo beautiful! I, too know all too well about the bullying. I've had one eye since I was 6 months old. (I wear a prosthesis) Of course kids are cruel, and I was made fun of, for something I couldn't help, daily for many years when I was a child. Emotionally it was gut wrenching at times. This really hit close to home withg me. And it didn't matter that my family went way overboard with telling me how beautiful I was (all parents think that of their kids) I never felt accepted. Boy, I'm sure, if we could sit down and talk, we could share lots of war stories about what we endured through childhood, how it traumatized us, and what type of psychological affects it had on us. I dotti what AudreyHowitt said. Great, heart felt, hub!
Tammy - I didn't think you ever looked ugly at all - I think your pictures are really cute! The condition and treatment sound painful though and I am sorry you had to go through that:( You are beautiful - I think the challenges we grow through make us stronger too!
I even got a chuckle at the end because I was just asking Dave if her remembered that old commercial where the girl says "do blonds really have more fun?" and then "be a blond and find out!" lol
c'mere, and give me a cyber-hug! As a father, i can say YOU was no ugly duckling...it would break my heart to think any of my daughters had to go through any bullying...so far, I think they have managed to ovid or at least deal with it without me being aware.
Great hub....
Chris
I'm still wondering where the "ugly" was in the earlier pictures. But I'm glad you were able to overcome it. Voting this Up and Beautiful.
Mee too! Mee Too! I'm also voting it up and beautiful. : ) Because that's what it is. Beautiful, like you. : )
Thanks Aya. That is sweet of you!
Thanks Poetic Fool,
That is really nice of you. I wouldn't trade my experiences for the world. I appreciate your comment.
Thanks Jackie!
As I will you my friend!
Thanks so much Sturgeon1. No one really gets out unscathed (kind of like marriage..LOL), but these things have a life long impact on our lives. Thank you so much for your kind words and visit.
Thanks Melovy. I never smiled in photos so you can't really see how bad it is, but thanks for reading and commenting.
And look at you now, you are on your way with a fabulous degree. These things will carry you in life more than you know. Looks fade ohhhh so quickly. You have a bright future in front of you and your own brand of "swagger". I appreciate your thoughtful comments.
Thanks Susan! Kids are so mean!
I think you are right with that everythingdazzles. There are few people who are truly ugly and it has more to do with thier insides. Excellent point. Thanks for that.
Will Cclitgirl, you seem to be doing wonderfully as a strong, highly intelligent, beautiful woman. It seems people like us do better in our adult lives because we have advanced skills in social survial. I think they help us in work and life more than we know. I am sorry you had to deal with all of that but in the end I think we are better for it. Thanks so much for your meaningful comment.
I am sorry that people were cruel to you also Barbergirl. I would never have guessed that about you. People are cruel. I grew up in extreme poverty too and part of my teasing was due to my clothes. I collect clothes now. LOL. I am glad you like yourself now. You appear to be vibrant and intellectual and pretty! It is just so important not to let others and more importantly YOU chain you into that role. I appreciate your kind words and sharing your story with me. We are so much more than our pasts.
You are one of the best friends a girl can ask for!
You hit the nail on the head Peanutricious. There must be a better way for people to feel better about themselves than tormenting others. I think it should be built into school curriculum. Thanks for sharing that!
Thank you so much for that Audrey. That means more to me than you know!
Me to Mardi! That is very nice of you to leave such a wonderful, kind comment. That touches my heart!
Something told me Sunshine625 was the badass! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. My only fear is that Ellen would use my photos as "Awkward Photos", but that would be ok. I adore her and I love everything she does for people. Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words. They mean much to me coming from a strong beautiful woman that doesn't take any crap from anyone. We would have been great buddies in school.
Ardie,
I have gotten to know you a bit here on hub pages and you are one of the nicest, funniest, most mischeivious partners in crime I know. I am sure that kids were cruel to you. They seem to be to every ginger I have ever known. I hope you will shed your negativity because there is nothing but AWESOMENESS inside and outside of you. Every minute you spend dwelling on the negativity is a minute you give those bullies.
Thank you so much for saying that Ms. Stephanie. I appreciate that more than you know!
That is kind of you Albersj. You are one of those hubbers I would love to have a cup of coffee with. I can't imagine what you went through. From what I understand it is difficult to have one eye and can give a person real headaches. That is so unfair and the pain we endure should be enough without adding insult to injury. It is so nice to be in this community where our personalities can shine and we are judged by our writing, thoughts and intellect. Thanks so much for sharing that difficult story. You are really awesome!
Hi, how could they say you were ugly? Wow! I totally admire you for putting up with the pain of your mouth and the bullying, I am so glad you could sort out your dental problem with surgery, but the pain must have been terrible. as for the bullying, I totally understand, I was bullied from my first day at school until nearly the last, but in the last year I put my foot down, my fists up and that was that! rated up and shared!
You are one of the nicest people on hubpages Chris. There were things I could not tell my father about as far as the bullying. He has a short temper and an extensive gun collection.. LOL. I hope your daughters don't go through this, but if they do, they have the best dad ever in their corner.
Thanks so much Alocsin. I appreciate your kindness.
What a great story and hub! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for your kind words Nell. I am sorry you too were bullied.. temporarily. I am glad you also had internal strength to stand up against it. Such things may have driven us to write. Good to see you!
Thanks so much Hectate-horus!
Passing the comments by on purpose for now. Tammy I looked at the pics first and couldn't figure out what made you the butt of cruel jokes. The last three of course you were very beautiful but just assumed you grew into your beauty, although something was different but still didn't know what. You can imagine the surprise and sadness on reading your ugly duckling story. You learned one of the deepest life lessons the hard way eight but its a knowledge and transformation of spirit no price can be put on, ever.
I don't think you were ever ugly! One of my daughters went through the palate expander, and we had to turn the key. I swear it made her nose larger, and she hated that.
Tammy,
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. School children can be cruel at times. You were never ugly. You were...and are...beautiful, both inside and out.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I wouldn't change my experience for anything even though it was difficult. You are right, no price can be put on gaining in spirit no matter how it is earned. Good to see you!
Thanks Ms. Mary,
Her nose probably did get bigger. I remember being able to feel my bones move. It is amazing how it changes a person's looks. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Thank you Daisy! Kids are cruel. I appreciate your comment.
What a great hub! I was surfing hubs and found this one and I couldn't be happier. I fought the battles of a skinny little nerd for many years and I love my ending and I love yours. Hooray for the ugly duckling of the world and congrats on a beautiful piece of writing.
omg! Tammy!
Wish I was there to take care of you! Bullying is still an issue nowadays! Glad you are fine and kicking!
LORD
Great hub. I was bullied because I could not afford new shoes for school and the only pair that I got my senior year were the pair that came as part of being a cheerleader. It got to the point that I ditched 2 weeks of school and almost flunked out after making great grades all year because I just wanted to avoid the bullies who followed me to school, in school, and on the way home.
Thank you Billybuc! We both turned out better for it in the end. Thank you for your heartfelt words!
Aww.. Thanks Lord! I am fine, kicking, and fiesty. I appreciate your visit!
I was bullied, but not by kids at school. I know how hard it is to go through what you had to go through. If I had known you then, we would have been best friends and kicked some A! You are absolutely gorgeous! Then and now! Hopefully we grow from our past experiences and realize that those who hurt us are the ones who need help!
Beauty is in the eyes of Beholder and if you are good inside then ouside doesn't really matters...
Tammy, What i see is a really beautiful child growing up into a beautiful person inside and out!
It's terrible what you had to endure with the school bullies but good that you had the fighting spirit! I wrote an article about Phoebe Prince, who unfortunately did not survive the torment of her bullies.
Voted and this is a beautiful hub!
Wow! It is a well written story. I know how it is to be bullied by the school/classmates. Reading your hub brought me to my saddest memories in elementary grades. I did not fight, I just cried.
I don't see that you were ugly before and certainly not now. iguidenetwork is right,"beauty is in the eyes of beholder."
A wonderful story, to which many will relate. It's important to understand that the real beauty comes from within. Children should be taught this from early age, that would help them appreciate and value themselves and others.
Thank you for sharing your story. To many, so many kids are bullied. And it is all the more hurtful to deal with when we are young and vulnerable. The bullies in your case must have been somewhat jealous on some level....as you were not close to ugly. Most bullies do it for their own gain, warped as that sounds. Some of course are just born mean. Someone read this and needed to read it for comfort....to know you can thrive after the abuse. The comments are kind, understanding and show that goodness is all around. Voted up!
I have always said kids are the meanest animals on earth. You are so much more than most, taking the experience and becoming who you are.
OMG Tammy! I know I'm very good at recognizing faces of children to match up with the adult they are presently.....but I SWEAR, if this photo of you had been posted with the question,"WHO is this Hubber?" I would have instantly named you!! Your eyes and smile give you away! What an ADORABLE little girl...who grew up into a beautiful woman!! Don't you DARE call yourself an ugly duckling!! That makes me angry..... I would adopt that little red-headed Angel!
Hey Tammy, right back at ya. I was thinking the exact same thing! Wish we could sit down over coffee or lunch or something, & dish over what we've endured. I can't imagine the gut wrenching physical pain you must have gond through. (I went through zero pain, physically) That, on top of the emotional pain. My goodness. It's parents jobs to teach their kids not to stare, ever. And mostly not to dare make fun of someone for something they can't help. Not to make fun of anyone EVER. I think you were an adorable child, and are a beautiful adult. I hope you see it to. But I know, all to well, that it doesn't matter one iota, what anybody says, it's about what we feel inside. I swear, lost of paralels btwn us...You're awesome Tammy & feel honored to be "hub sista's" with you. ; )
You were not an ugly child. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I am glad that you were able to move on and eventually overcome the bullying which can be so devastating and destructive. I was bullied as a child in high school as I was anorexic - I was called bones and teased about my weight for a year or so. Children can be so cruel and are cowards deep down. What a great story which is very inspirational. Voted up up up.
Thanks for sharing Express10. That is sad as well. This bullying keeps many people from wanting to go to school and face the torment. I remember the feeling of being sick to my stomach. Bullies really ruin people's lives. Thanks for your visit.
Thanks so much Rusticliving. We would have kicked some serious butt! I appreciate your kind words. We are probably both better people because of it.
Thanks iguidenetwork. This is how things should be. As adults we learn this. Thanks so much for reading.
Thanks for reading Mummy Dearest. I appreciate you words of support. I must read your hub. That sounds heart breaking. Good to meet you here.
Thank you for sharing your sad story Thelma. You must be tenderhearted. Children are so mean. I appreciate that and your visit.
Thanks for your insight comment Katrine.
I was actually fairly "cute" when I was six and then I entered the "awkward" stage and didn't have a chance of getting a date for fifteen years. I laugh when I see pictures of me as a teen but at the time it was not funny at all. I look at the picture of you as six and the you now and I can't even see a slight resemblance...that's how it is with me, too. I would show my students pictures of me when I was their age and they don't believe it was the same person.
Thanks Lorraine! I grew up in a very rural area with very little to do. I think people tormented others out of bordeom most of the time. I am a big supporter of having outlets for children to avoid these things. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.
Thank you Mark. Kids are mean. I appreciate that.
Thanks fpherj4! You are too kind. That is such a nice thing to say and it hits home.
I too am honored Jacy. You are AWESOME!
Thank you Jacqui. I am sorry about your teasing as well. Your kindness is appreciated.
Your story touched my heart, Tammy. Enduring so much emotional pain as a child must have been awful. I would not have seen you as 'ugly' - you had beautiful features, but children are so rude... they believe the opinions of the big-mouth bullies, or whoever intimidates with his/her attributes; children just don't look with their own eyes; the wide awakenings come later in life - the realization of all the wrongs they believed and done because they were submissive to authority in all forms.
But indeed the orthodontists had done a great job. They have changed you into a stunning beaut.
And yet, the most touching confession in this hub of yours is: "I learned that beauty is something you own regardless of what you look like on the outside. Beauty is not equated to any person's value as a human being." Now this is precious wisdom you have obtained via personal agonizing experience, and now able to share with everybody.
Voted up and awesome :)
Aww.. I would have been friends with you. I wish kids that went through this now could understand and appreciate that there are many advantages to not blooming in high school. We can't accept it when we are young though. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your warm and insightful comment Martie. These words mean a lot to me. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Brave and honest narrative. I too, hade been a victim of bullying in the past, thought not of severe kind. Thanks for sharing your story, many people will find inspiration in your voice.
Wow, I'm really moved by the enormous amt. of comment's you've gotten. You've touched many pple with this hub, Tammy, and I'm sure you'll continue to get coments.
All swans were once ugly ducklings! Not saying i am a swan, but i went through similar problems - i was the short kid, red hair and freckles! In grade 7, i grew 18 inches in 3 months, and went from the smallest kid in the class, cowering from the bullies, to the biggest in the class, beating up those same bullies who now wanted to be my friend. I stuck with the friends i had, thanks very much!
This is a beautiful story! I'm glad that you said that being bullied was actually a blessing in disguise. Bullying, while it sucks to go through, makes you come out a better person for it in the end. Thanks for sharing this I want to put a link to this one one of my hubs about bullying.
Three cheers for the education and the positive outcome! Great slice of life story that most would never know anything about without efforts such as yours.
It is so sad that bullying has been so common and still is today. There is so little that is needed, some minor flaw or behavior that trigger some other unsecure child to take a chance at get up a bit, and get better reputation themselves. I have never experienced bullying myself but I can imagine how horrible it must be.
This is a great article and you are so brave for writing it! I know it will help others who are in the same position as you where. And I agree with so many others here, you where not ugly Tammy! The pain with the expender device sounds horrible.
Tina
I personally did not find you to be unattractive as a child, but you are beautiful inside and out as an adult. I too was a late bloomer, and was fairly unattractive until late teens. I was severely bullied as a child, but for other reasons that unless you come from a small town it would be very hard to understand. But it is amazing how quickly they are able to forget the pain they caused.
Dear friend, Tammy. You are so beautiful even when you were childhood. Only bad person who called you like that. I hope those people realize of what they are talking about to you. God bless you! Have a nice weekend...
Love and peace,
Very well written and important hub! I am glad you brought your story to our attention!
You are beautiful inside and out!
Thank you for your kind words Vinaya. Thanks for sharing your own story and I am sorry that you too were bullied. I appreciate it.
Thanks Jacy!
Thank you for sharing your story Marc. What a story of redemption. I bet those bullies regretted what they did. This is a wonderful story.
Thank you TheHug5! If you have a bullying hub I would love to add it here as well. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for that Wesman, that makes me feel good about writing this. Thank you!
Thank you thoughforce! I appreciate your thoughtful comment. You really brought up a great thought on bullies. They have a flaw that makes them take advantage of an insecure person. Great thoughts.. thank you!
Thanks for sharing that Homesteadbound. I grew up in a very small town and I know exactly what you are saying. I feel as you do, it is almost an insult for people to forget their wrongs like nothing ever happened. You too have definatley rose up against it and have acheived WONDERFUL things here on hub pages. You are beautiful, kind and generous inside and out. Thanks so much for your visit!
Thank you Prasetio. I really appreciate your kind words. I hope God will bless you also. You always have a kind word for everyone.
Thanks Audra!
What I saw in your hub was stages of beauty and growing. I went from being bullied often to frequently adjusting attitudes. I became a very intense youn man who always came across with a verbal or an expressional warning. For me...taking their crap or backing down was not an option.
I commend anyone who was bullied and can get through school and avoid violence. It seemed that some boys would fight and the issue would be over. It seemed that some girls would take it to the edge and dig in. I sometimes wished that I would have walked away or would have been able to ignore them.
It sounds like you moved on and got stronger. You should be proud....it takes real courage to do so. :o)
Being bullied is just horrible. Kids can be so cruel. Your story is cut from bravery and courage and I admire you so! Like so many others have commented - I found you beautiful back then and now, inside and out.
Your story will help others and you are so good to share it. I am very moved and thank you, beautiful tammy. voted up and more!
Thank you so much for that response Tom. I can imagine bullying is worse for boys because there is no way you could back down. It could wear a boy out. If you didn't stand up for yourself, things would never improve. I am glad we both conquered our bullies and became bigger people because we stood against it. Thanks so much for your heart felt comment.
Thank you so much for that vocal coach. It is a wonderful validation for me that everyone is so kind. Thank you for taking the time to read this and to leave such a warm comment.
hey Tammy, i've got a missaligned jaw too. I never realy knew it until I hit 30. I bet the bullies look at you now in envy because you are stunning. You had the last laugh gorgeous....
Tammy, your story touched me.. to me your were always beautiful .. I know what it means to be picked on and bullied. but look at you.. you out shine all those bullies in more ways than you know.. I love your writing. You are an awesome person and writer..
Voted up
debbue
Aww.. Thanks Jimmy's. That is a wonderful thing for you to say. Are you going to seek treatment for your jaw? It will give you headaches. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Thank you so much Ms. Deborah. That means so much to me. I appreciate your kindness. Thanks so much for your visit.
I really really am impressed by everything you went through as I can feel your pain. I have had TMJ for as long as I can remember and at one point they were discussing doing that jaw expander, but after a few meetings they decided we could just try braces and see where it ended up afterwards. After over 4 years of braces I begged to have them off in time for my senior pictures ( which meant I actually got them off prematurely and so my teeth are not perfect even after 4 years of braces) and my TMJ seemed to have fixed itself. When I first got my braces put on I had such a bad over bite that my dentist could stick his finger between my lower and upper jaw. My braces managed to bring my teeth into better alignment and therefore rid me of TMJ for a time being. 5 1/2 years later I have my TMJ back (which they were afraid would happen since it wasn't a permanent fix) and although it is not yet as bad as it once had been I will probably have to have my jaw broken and wired together in the future if it continues to get worse. Everything you went through sounds so familiar that I really feel your pain! Although looking at your pictures I don't think you were ugly! Just so you know :-) I especially love the great big smile of you at 6!!! Once again great hub and very interesting!
Hello Tammy, your hub is quite impressive. Reminded me of when I fell on the bicycle and lost my two front teeth, third grade. It was a rough period and surely many of us can relate to your childhood–– we also have to thank heaven for modern medicine and dentistry! There isn't a better cause than anti-bullying. The entire world would be so much better without it. You go girl!!
Tammy...
Looking at the before/after photos I would state that you were/are beautiful regardless of the lame claims of jocks. It is interesting, however, Jocks MUST be the same at EVERY school...
Awesome hub and thank you for sharing. So I noticed, on your profile it says you live in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, and South Carolina? How do you find things in the morning to get ready? I only ask because I still have my stuff strewn about because we haven't been able to fully move back in from the fire...I mean...I just have to go to the garage and such...but still...
Thanks,
Thomas
PS...Voting UP and Sharing!
Voted up, useful, and awesome. Many of us have gone through similar self-esteem issues and bullying. Indeed, I've also learned to view it all as a blessing. Great hub!
I am sorry to hear that MythicalStorm. It is a pain unlike any other. I was lucky in that aspect. It is so much easier to realign a jaw in underbite but almost impossible to do the same with an overbite. I hope with all the advances in this field, doctors and orthodondists will find another option for you. You may want to check with several doctors. I hope that one day soon you will be PAIN FREE. I am sorry you can relate to this story on such a level. Keep me posted. :(
Thanks Michabell,
Ouch! I appreciate your kind words. It would be great for everyone to end bullying. I soooo agree. Thanks for reading!
Thank you Thoughtsandwiches,
Needless to say I am no fan of jocks, even now. I was also a "band geek" and they made endless fun of the band members. They started calling us gay. I had to point out that the band is CO-ED.. we don't shower together like football and basketball players. Those who have never ridden a band bus should not be so quick to judge. :)
I live in NC. I own a home in SC and lived there for 15 years and my oldest kids are there. I was raised in PA. I don't commute silly. :P
I am sorry you haven't been able to move back in. Did they get the wild fires contained yet? I hope you will be able to go home soon and get back to your normal routine. Thanks for reading!~
Thank you Faceless! I am glad you too are a success story! I appreciate your kind words.
...this one time...at band camp...
The fires have long since been contained. The clean up is a jumble of competing tradesmen that have difficulty scheduling, thus, the delay. Thank you for your kind thoughts!
Thomas
And thank you to you for your kind thoughts!
Your beautiful! Then and now. I relate greatly to this hub. Before my dental work I had a crooked front tooth which threw my appearance off greatly. But My features have much harmony now!Finally at the age 18 I'm not afraid to smile ear to ear. Keep up the awesome hubs tammy :)
Thanks Worldofwow1992. I appreciate that!
Very interesting story tammy, I must of missed this one when it was posted. Sorry that you were bullied it sounds like you went through an awful lot of grief as a child.
I was bullied for a while during school because of my weight issue back then. I was brought up in a house where punching your way out of a bullies reach was deemed better. I guess my parents didn't take the intellectual route all that often.
People who judge others by how they look are shallow. Children will do this just as much as adults. I would never say you were ugly! Even if you did wear that purple sweater in picture two ;)
I found those who stand by you while being bullied will become the strongest friends you could ever find
Thanks so much for your response Rob. It is true.. I still have the very same friends from childhood. We have an unbreakable bond. I appreciate you sharing your story as well and I am glad that you have become stronger and wiser through it all.
Good for you, Tammy and for becoming a stronger person. Bullying might be awful, but it did help you become the person you are today. So in every bad story there can be a positive outcome, and you stand to prove that. Congrats!
Thanks for your kind words sportgames! I appreciate that!
My GOD! I can't believe people actually said those things to your face. I wasn't much of a looker, and I sure was weird, but I was never bullied because of it. I hope times are changing, though from what we all hear in the news, this might not be the case. Thanks for sharing your story! I'm glad this whole thing has made you stronger as a person... though I wish you never had to go through all that cruelty to begin with!
I agree with Simone!! But at least you are getting this thread on this hub! Darn!! Omg!
LOTRD
You weren't ugly at all. We all have years of that awkward stage. But, I do know how you feel. I didn't get my teeth fixed until I was sixteen. It was awful, having knocked my front teeth out at the age of fourteen. They were put back in by a dentist, but never fit the jaw bone right afterwards, making my face stick out around my mouth like that of a horse. Great hub. You did turn out to be a beautiful swan though, and all the past humility made you stay humble. At least it made you grow up with a kind heart. : ) Great hub!! Voted up and useful.
I can't see why anyone would have called you ugly! You were an adorable kid. But children can be so cruel and have to pick on someone, just to hide their own insecurity. Well, you finally showed them with your courage and bravery. Not only did you become a very beautiful and strong woman, but also a brilliant writer.
Tammy - Thank you for sharing this!
Voted up, awesome and I will share this one.
Thanks Simone. I grew up in a very blunt and honest part of the country. People are very cruel. Thanks so much for your visit!
Thank you Lord. That is sweet of you.
Thanks for sharing your story girltalkshop. Your condition sounds as if it was very painful. Thank you for your very kind words!
Thank you so much SanneL. I really appreciate that!
Wow Tammy, this is deep. It is not the easiest to say or publish! I am sorry you had to go through that. You were a cute kid and you look terrific now, so it is their loss:) Children don't understand most times, but some of them never change. It is our job as parents to teach them better I believe. It would make a difference. Even at that young age, we should know.
great hub tammy. up and shared. You're certainly not an ugly duckling now, by any estimation. I had some tormentors myself. I was the poor, artistic kid in the rich school It's no fun!
Great hub..But to tell you the truth, your earlier pictures too aren't ugly at all. I believe the kids in your school had some problem with their eyesight.
Good hub about your personal life. You grew up from a pretty girl into a smart and beautiful woman! I understand how it feels to be teased mercilessly by others. Your hub shows that you are an extremely strong-minded person. Hats off to you. Way to go. Thank u for sharing. Interesting. Vote up.
Thanks Lyric Writer! I agree with you and wish these things were taught at home also. Thanks so much for reading!
Thanks PDX! I am sure your experience was very awkward. It seems those rich private schools are a breeding ground for those sorts of things. Thanks for reading!
That is very sweet of you Fellow Mumbaite! I appreciate your kindness!
Thanks ishwaryaa22! That is a wonderful thing for you to say! I appreciate that. I am sorry you too endured this kind of teasing.
You early childhood photos are beautiful. I think those bullies are just not in their right minds. Like you, I also experienced bullying when I was in high school. Back then, I had this problem with acne. My dermatologist said it's primarily hormonal for me so I had to endure until i reached my eighteenth birthday. Eventually, my zits all cleared up and those high school boys who are so rude to me that time were trying to pursue me in college. Some even now. hahahaha! And I have to agree that we are lucky to have experienced all of these (at some point) because these harsh experiences taught us how to become stronger individuals.
I enjoyed reading this hub. It had so much inspiration. Thank you for sharing this. Am glad to be a follower of such beautiful rocker girl. :D
Voted up Tammy. I was bullied everyday of my school life. I was overweight for quite some time up until recently in my life and not only that I have bad teeth which up until now I can get fixed. People weren't aware that I had a father who abused me and wouldn't take care of me properly. He did not provide me with toothpaste to even clean my teeth with. So in the end I had bad teeth. He didn't even take me to the dentist a single time. Of coarse they didn't realize this wasn't my fault. So I was tormented because of it. Thank you for sharing your story.
Thanks for sharing your story SingerNurse. I have a son who suffered with acne in his early teens and it amazed me how mean people were to him, even adults and teachers. It was disheartning. I imagine that was a very difficult thing to go through for you. Thank you so much for your visit.
That makes me sad Cresentmoon. I think neglect is the worst kind of child abuse. Without dental care at a young age, it is difficult for people to overcome these things as adults. That breaks my heart. I am glad you turned it around and became a successful writer and great person. Thanks for reading and sharing your story.
I don't think you were ugly at all Tammy, you were a cute child and young girl with a physical problem. Now as an adult you are beautiful and from the sound of your writing very intelligent and a force to be reckoned with!
Thanks Curiad! That is so sweet of you. I appreciate that!
I don't see an ugly girl in any of the photographs. But I must admit, after four years of treatment you went from average to what they used to call a "doll baby!" :-)
I mean that in the most positive way.
You have a terrific story. You told it well and I was captivated by it. Thank you for the good read.
That is very nice of you James. I appreciate the compliment. :)
Oh, Tammy - you were by no means an ugly duckling (I'm sure you can see that now!), but I truly know what it felt like to be treated that way. I was the awkward (and ugly, I thought) kid with braces who was the brunt of every bully attack in the school. I hated my school years.
Just look at the cute kid you were, and the absolutely stunning and great woman you've become today!
I was saddened to see the large ratio of voters who have been bullied (according to your poll). Scary to think there are that many bullies out there, huh?
Voted up, awesome, useful and interesting!
I've never heard the saying, thank goodness. How incredibly mean! From looking at the pictures, I don't think that you were unattractive as a child. I am proud of you for having an incredible attitude.
Thanks Millionaire Tips! That means a lot and I appreciate that!
One of my favorite hubs Tammy! Definitely have to share this one on my fb page!
Thanks Sam! I really appreciate that!
Congrats on Hub of the day! Your wisdom now will continue to reach to more millions of others and thus the world will be healed due to your confidence in your hub. Wish u more success in your HubPages journey. All the best!
Well congratulations on generating so many comments. AND thanks for sharing such a personal story. The expander apparatus sounds excruciating, almost archaic and cruel. Wow, not sure I would have what it takes to go thru that. And like so many others on here, if you were an ugly duckling, I guess you posted the wrong pictures. Puzzling to me.
So, again, thanks for sharing your story.
Vern
Congratulations Tammy! I came back to read your amazing story again and to say how proud I am of you with "Hub of the Day"! Woo hooo. That's the way to kick some A**!
:)
Hey Tammy, you have always been a beautiful person from the time you were young. I looked at your pictures and wondered what indeed is beauty in this country. I did not know that people could be that rude and mean to others. I am so glad you shared this and continue to hold your own as the world taught you. You are truly beautiful inside out. Best wishes. Great hub.
Hey Tammy, first of all I didn't find you ugly in any of those pictures, and you didn't deserve what you have gone through but as life becomes harder for everyone people begin to seek scapegoats to ease themselves. You grew stronger, that's the best part out of all this.
Thank you for sharing your story. I thought it was beautifully presented and sad at the same time, people can be so cruel. But very interesting, how you turned it into an experience that strengthens you. I guess that is all anyone can do in this funny old life we live. Great Hub.
SuperHub! Incredible story with a wonderful message. Beauty is irrelevant if it's just on the outside. And if I might say so....You're a beautiful blonde woman, shining from inside!
Voted up, shared and away!
You were beautiful when you were a young girl and you have grown into a very beautiful woman, both on the inside and on the outside. Beautiful Hub and well deserving of "HUB OF THE DAY" congratulations and thank you for Sharing such a wonderful story. :-)
Yay!! This Hub is an outstanding and exceptional selection for Hub Of The Day!! Congrats Tammy!!
Hi tammyswallow, I can totally relate with your experience. I was also bullied because I was so thin and my teeth were crooked. It was tough growing up but like you what you did I have to fight back. Sometimes our inner insecurities are one of bullies in life. Great Hub!
Wow, I would have never guessed it was you in the picture....
...having said all, there's a difference between being beautiful and being sexy (perhaps I'm one of the few people who notices that?). You can actually be really beautiful and not be very sexy. e.g., Queen Latifa has some lovely features, but she's not very sexy. Beyonce on the other hand, is not more beautiful than Latifa, but she's way sexier.
Congrats on winning!
John
Look at that gorgeous girl who made hub of the day!
This is the best hub i've read. The picture when you were 18 (4 years after the surgery) you remind me of Sandra Bullock. It's the beautiful smile.
Congratulations on Hub of the Day! I kept looking at the pictures trying to see a deformity, but all I saw was an enchanting young girl with way more spunk and determination than most adults. Kudos to you for surviving this kind of verbal abuse and coming out a winner:)
To tammyswallow: This is a very inspirational hub. Children can be cruel. There is no such thing as an ugly duckling. All children are beautiful. It is only society who present unrealistic and false definitions of beauty and attractiveness. I believe that people who believe and push these artificial standards of beauty are unevolved and immature. You were a beautiful child, teenager, and now, a beautiful adult. Be own your person with God essence, Tammy, and pay no attention to the small and petty people. God bless. GMWilliams.
Like everyone else I fail to see an ugly duckling anywhere here !?..Huh..... What .....where ? Want to see ugly ?........check out my family photos !Lol...:-}
Hey Tammy congrats on being the hub of the day. Keep going beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Also know too you are fearfully and wonderfully made, we always need to reinforce that to ourselves from time to time because there are those who are the low self trip when there's nothing you can do about your situation. God Bless you.
Great hub but I don't see an ugly duckling in ANY of those photos. Kids can be so mean. In fact, your youngest picture reminded me of Jodie Foster as a child and look where she went with her life! Hasn't she had at least one Oscar? Voted Up and beautiful
Congratulations on your well-deserved Hub of the Day! Loved this hub the first time I saw it, and I'm so glad to see it recognized as HOTD!
I was really moved by your struggle and story. People can be so cruel--especially children. It makes me sad that there is so little empathy in the world. I endured some teasing as a child and can still (after all of these years) remember how it made me feel.
I think you were a cute little girl. From you after-photo, it looks like your dental treatment was a great success.
You have overcome their mean treatment of you and learned from it. I'm sure that your story will help others. Voted up!
So many have commented, but I have to say a lot of this reflects me too. Red-haired Mom, plate thing for me, growing into the body. Good stuff. Loads of hope. Well written. Worth more than a hub of the day.
Like many others here, I have to say that I do not see an ugly duckling in the 13 year you, but I know the dental problem you are talking about. You have picked on a topic that speaks to many and you have written it in a wonderfully personal yet generic tone. No doubt you make a HOTD. Congratulations. Voted up and beautiful.
First of all, you looked adorable as a child and grew up into a beautiful young woman. I was very touched by your story. I feel awful that you had to go through such cruelty but I am happy that you were able to turn it all around. Thanks for sharing this wonderful hub!
I couldn't see the "ugly" you talked about. I can never understand people who call others ugly. For me it's those who bully that are ugly, ugly inside. I have been teased and it affected me a little but the truth is I had a pretty face so people would easily forget the flaw which were my teeth so I kept quiet so as not to show them. I had severe brown spots in my teeth which could not be removed because they were grown in the enamel. So I was called "Milo teeth". Milo was the name for a chocolate drink.
This hub really deserves hub of the day! It has a wonderful message and now I understand you a little better.
You look stunning!
So glad this made Hub of the Day because it's on a topic that's still a big issue in our society and your story is powerful as well as being filled with important life lessons that have served you well and can do so for others.
I am sorry that you had to endure so much emotional and physical pain before you were able to get your jaw and teeth aligned, but am glad you were able to ultimately heal from the emotional battering of your tormenters.
As you so eloquently said in this hub, true friends see our beauty from within and I'm glad that throughout your difficult childhood you had one who loved and befriended you for your true self and still does.
Voted up and useful. Thanks for sharing not just your difficult experience, but the lessons learned from it.
What a great story and how plucky you were. Good luck to you in everything you do; you certainly deserve it. Voted up and awesome
When I first started to read this article, I thought an under bite so what. But then I continued and I cannot imagine the pain you went threw! And that just goes to show you, you cannot judge a book by its cover. And none of the pictures show an ugly little girl, not one of them. This article was great. I'm glad I read it!
What an incredible story. It's amazing how cruel kids can be because I look at your pictures and you did not look ugly or deformed. You are truly amazing to have been able to endure that and come out seeing the lessons and the blessing in all of it. I believe that everything happens for a reason and it shows here because your experience has helped you to touch so many people here. It's very inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
I never saw an ugly duckling. I did see a beautiful spirit. Congrats on hub of the day!
Congratulations on Hub of the Day! Looking at your pictures, I never saw an "ugly" girl, but children can be cruel. I'm sorry for the painful ordeal, but we do learn from our experiences and use it to help ourselves and others. You're a beautiful woman now. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I used to consider myself an ugly duckling but when I see pictures of myself as a kid I think I was pretty cute :) I do have an awful grade 9 school picture though...I had a difficult stage in my teens.
I was bullied most of my time through primary school in Scotland and a little in junior high here in Canada. I have a slight mobility problem that causes me to rock when I walk...I was called "duck" in junior high. In high school I was basically ignored and had few friends.
I also wrote a hub about bullying.
This is a wonderful hub.
Yay! I'm so glad that you made'hub of the day'. You richly deserve it! I thought you were already following me too!
Wow. I don't know that I've ever seen so many comments on any one hub before. This a a great hub, and well-deserving of hub of the day. Your story is very touching. Congratulations.
Wow!!! Where is that blonde with the cheekiest smile?? I have some bear friends, that I met driving through western PA. This was a surprise for me, and I'm very happy for her. Epsilon met Zero...! Congrats! Tammy..No blonde jokes as usual.
LORD
WTG Tammy:) yay! HOD!!
A great and timely Hub! Bulluing is much in the news lately and your story of surviving it may help others. I hope many of the bullied and the bullys find their way here to read it.
I was bullied some growing up and was probably guilty of bullying some as well. I was always the "new kid" seeking to prove himself. I'm glad you found ways to fight back, survive and now to inspire other victims.
Congrats on your hub of the day!
This is a great HOTD topic - so timely. Congrats - well deserved.
Congratulations!!
I think you were a pretty little girl and you certainly are a beautfiful woman. I cannot understand the heart of a bully.
Congratulations on Hub of the Day! But seriously think that you have to retitle your hub because you were not even close to being in the category of "Ugly Duckling"!
I also had braces, although not to the extent that you did - painfull!! And I had glasses and was super shy. Thankfully, though, I never had to put up with much bullying - that would have been a nightmare! But I think that maybe most people who go through this situation in school come out better people for it - as you say.
Woohoo...Congrats Tammy! You deserve it :)
Congratulations on getting the hub of the day for this article! I appreciate most that you have embraced the "ugly ducking" in you. I also admire your best friend who came to it and posted!
Tammy, It was a great learning experience for me. Not only how to get things in order medically but how to combat the social pressure. You are an angel. An angel by heart. God bless you.
Thank you ishwayaa22. I appreciate your kind words. I wish you the best as well.
Thank you Vern. I appreciate that!
Thank you so much RusticLiving! I appreciate your visit and kindness.
Thank you so much donnaisabella! Thanks for your kind and inspiring comment.
Thanks sangita12. Your comment is very kind and I appreciate that!
It is indeed a funny old life. Thanks for taking the time to read and to comment. It is a pleasure to meet you here.
Thanks Escobana. That means a lot to me.
Thanks MP50. It is a big surprise, but thank you for your kind words!
Thanks Sunshine625! I really appreciate that!
You make a very good point im28beyond. Many times, we are our worse bully. I think this is the saddest case of all. I hope things have improved for you as well. These kids that teased other kids about being thin certainly could not forsee the advantages of a great metabolism. :) Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks John Sarkis. I always like your interesting take on things. Interesting observations as always. Thanks for commenting!
Awww.. Thanks Millionaire Tips. I appreciate that!
Thank you Calum. That is a wonderful compliment. I love Sandra Bullock. That was a very nice compliment that I will always remember. :)
Thank you so much DonnaCosmato! I appreciate your kindness and words of inspiration.
GREAT hub! I can totally relate to your article! I too felt like people suddenly started being nice to me my senior year, that hadn't spoken to me ever before. While I don't recall being the victim of bullying myself, I did go through so much stress, anxiety, and depression throughout middle school. If I had been teased and made fun of, I don't know how I would have made it through! I truly admire your courage. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you gmwilliams. Those are some wonderful words of encouragement and inspiration. It is easy to recognize a fellow hubber who also walks in grace. Thanks for those wonderful words!
thanks ahorseback. I think every child goes through an awkward phase where the human body does not grow congruently and they are in between phases. You are a kind person.. I don't see any ugly in you either.
Thank you so much youls-a. I wish you the same blessings in return!
Thanks Sinea Pies. That is very kind of you. I must say it is much better to bloom later in life even if you can't realize it when you are in the situation. I appreciate the comment!
Thanks so much Ms. Stephanie! You are one of the very best. I appreciate your kind words.
Thank you susanm23b,
I hope it will help someone out there. There is very little empathy in the world and many emotional zombies in this world that walk around empty, feeding off the vulnerabilities of others. I wish all children could be empowered and have the foresight to realize that these things will matter very little in the scope of their lives. You have shared some great thoughts.
Thank you hhunterr. It appears you have turned out pretty awesome! I appreciate you stopping by to comment!
Thanks sen.sush23. I appreciate you stopping by and sharing those kind words.
Thank you so much bizzymom. I appreciate you taking the time to read this and leave such a wonderful comment.
I had read and commented on this brave narrative earlier. This time I came to congratulate you. You are a true winner.
Well, Tammy, you are wonderful in sharing your life experience. I did not see anything unattractive about you at all. I do know that children are mean sometimes and say the harshest things based on a host of reasons. You're a lovely person. Thoughts up on your hub. Thanks much.
Thank you for your story and the lovely pictures. I am interested in your comment that you have learned to love the "ugly duckling" in yourself. We all have such inner figures, and they all want expression and appreciation. My own such figure I called "my crazy little creature" until I learned to take care of her and love her. Now she is "my creative little creature," one of my favorite inner figures. Sandra Busby
Thank you for sharing Cardisa,
Ugly in a person shines through no matter what a person looks like. You have a pretty face and a pretty, curious, warrior spirit. I appreciate your kind comment.
Thank you kikalina! That is very kind of you!
Thanks Happy Boomernurse! The love and support of our friends is something so precious. My best friend is a unique person. She had an old soul even when we were young. She was my defender but on the other hand, she always challenged me to stand up for myself and taught me how to suck it up. We should all be so lucky to have great friends. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and your kind words here.
Thanks so much for commenting annart. I appreciate your visit!
Thanks RedSoxFan,
I think physical and emotional pain serve as the kiln in which we are all cast and hardened at some point in our lives. We are all tested by it. We can either come out stronger than ever or chipped and broken. Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate your visit and your comment.
Hi Tammy! I don't see any pictures of you that are ugly. You were an adorable kid who turned into a beautiful woman-tho I am not sure blondes have more fun lol :)
I was not really bullied as a kid. I was not in the "popular crowd" but did not really aim for it. There were some nice people in that crowd and I did talk with many of them in school but never really hung out with them. I think my biggest reason for not being bullied was that I had an "I don't care what you think of me" attitude. I still do really, my Dad helped me learn that at an early age. This sounds harsh, it is not. I have a hard time explaining this in a friendly way. I am not mean to people (I actually enjoy helping others and get along with many people), but I do not go way out of my way to impress people either. I am who I am and if people don't like it-sorry! That was my attitude in school. The picture of me here with the pigtails was taken at the age of 33 and I would go out anywhere with them in my hair. I was one in high school to dye my hair jet black and purple. I think people just respected my individuality. Well that and I was pretty much the tallest girl in school at 5'11" and in high school I mainly took weight room as my gym class. That might have helped a bit :)
Sorry you had to go through this. Tho I was not really bullied, I have stood up for people who were. Kids can be cruel! I am trying to make sure that my girls know how beautiful they are inside and out, and that they should never let anybody else convince them otherwise.
I too had to have the mouth piece in, I do not remember how painful it was-I think I was 10 and braces were at 12. My Mom hated to turn that key! My top jaw was not wide enough. I have had so many jaw and teeth problems.
Voted up!
Thanks so much for that kind and comforting comment savanahl. I feel as you do, these things happen for a reason whether we can understand it at the time or not. I am so glad you stopped by!
Thanks so much homesteadbound! I appreciate your visit and kind words from one of Hubpages finest!
Thanks vespawolf! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Every time I see the little girl's photo I see such a sweet-faced, pretty baby. Congrats on your award today. Good for you for sharing your story about other people's problems that caused you pain--and for braving the storm so that you could write about it.
Thanks Univitedwriter, I will have to check it out. Sometimes I wonder if we are meant to be writers and cruelty was a big part of our lives so we would have a deep understanding of the true horrors of human nature. We may never know, but we can become better and stronger human beings. Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply.
Thanks Peanuttritious, I appreciate that. You are on your way also!
Thanks DeborahNeyens,
I appreciate your kind words and your visit!
Congratulations on the Hub of the Day! Thank you for sharing your story. I think that we all have our own Ugly Duckling confessions. We are all our own worst critic. If only we could see ourselves through God's eyes.
It was a surprise for me too Lord De Cross. Thanks for your visit.
Thanks RealHousewife! It was a nice surprise... a little shocking when I logged into hub pages, I shrieked ahhh.. not THAT photo! I appreciate the yeahooosss..
Thanks xstatic,
Thanks for sharing your story here. I can't imagine how hard it is to be "the new kid", especially for a male entering a circle of other territorial males. It couldn't have been easy. I appreciate you sharing your experiences here and it is a pleasure to meet you on Hubpages.
Thank you AudreyHowitt!
Thanks Marcy! You are such a kind spirit.
Thanks Winbo!
Thank you so much Hypenbird. I appreciate your kind words. The heart of a bully is a sad, mangled web of despair.
Thanks Gemini Fox,
I think you turned out wonderfully. You are certainly "foxy" and beautiful. I would surmise that you too came out of the situation much better as well. Thanks for your kind comment.
Thanks so much Ruchira! I appreciate you stopping by.
Thanks Tom Koecke,
I have the best friends anyone could ask for. Thanks so much for dropping in and sharing some kindness. :)
Hi Brandrocker,
Thanks so much for sharing your kind words. It takes an angel to know one. :)
Thanks amckean84. I appreciate that!
Thank you so much Vinaya! That means a great deal coming from one of Hubpages finest writers.
Thanks for sharing that ytsenoh! That is very kind.
That is precious Sandra Busby.. "Creative Little Creature." I hope you will write a hub about her. She sounds like a lot of fun. :) Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing that.
Thanks for sharing your story Dawn. I am sure more people than you realize appreciate your indiviuality, kindness, and support. Thanks for stopping by!
As a former ugly duckling myself, I can definitely relate to this! I went through an awkward phase that lasted from, hmmm... age 8 to age 18? Haha, but I think that all those years of believing I was awkward and unattractive have made me who I am today!
The funny part is that when I look back, I really wan't all that ugly or unattractive. I just thought I was. Most of it was in my head, and because I THOUGHT and truly believed I was ugly, I felt ugly. It took me ten years to see that I wasn't as unfortunate as I thought I was...
Self-esteem can make a world of difference! I absolutely LOVED this hub! Great job!
Congratulations on Hub of the Day! This is a very brave aricle to share. I know only on a minor level what you went through. I simply did not belong to the "in" crowd because our interests did not mesh, so I got the taunts from across the street to and from school, "Hey you--you're ugly, aren't you!?" My "defense" was to feign deafness.
In your pictures, I do not see anything ugly. You were a cute little girl; a nice-looking teen; a pretty young woman with a hint of beauty to follow, and from what I can see, you've become as just pretty as that promise.
I hate the shallow focus on exterior beauty, and I think bullies are cowards. Bullying stems from feelings of insecurity, so if someone is being bulllied, they only need to remind themselves that the bullies are only trying to distract attention from their own feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness. So, by the very act of bullying, they prove themselves inferior--that should make any bullying victim feel better. But, if the bullying becomes physical, by all means notify the school or other appropriate authorities..but also, enroll in self-defense classes.
I may sometimes need to walk with a cane, but what martial arts training I have gives me confidence that no punk better mess with THIS "little old lady."
Wonderful article--voted up across the board and shared.
I only looked at the photos but even they speak volumnes nice one! Just went back and read it. Now like it even more!!!!
Congratulations on your hub of the day!
Awesome Hub! You don't look ugly to me from any angle, even as a child. You look sort of 'cute' in your childhood pictures. But as the saying goes, 'you are what you believe you are' and attracts people who think that way. When you believe that you are beautiful and gorgeous, you will see people complimenting on your looks and responding to you positively.
Congratulations Tammy!
Hi & Congratulations on a great hub ! I got confused as I couldnt find any pictures of any ugly girl on your hub !You were very brave going thru the pain like you did . I was picked on at school and was just recently diagnosed with severe Aduld ADHD .
This isn't actual heredity. Heredity is DNA encoding or, to a certain extent, epigenetics, though scientists are still struggling to understand the latter--it's a pretty new field of biology. What this is that you went through was a developmental issue, most likely caused by poor nutrition in your prenatal and early years. It is not anything your parents did on purpose but seems to be becoming more and more common since the advent of industrial foods and the loss of cultural food traditions connected with reproduction and child development. If you're interested, the dentist Weston A. Price wrote extensively about this. There's a foundation named after him but I find that just reading his work is instructive, and then getting into the bloggers Chris Masterjohn and Chris Kresser.
The point is you don't have to fear passing this on to your children. There's almost nothing in the pre-agricultural anthropological record that indicates this was a normal thing for people to experience--it is not like being born with blue eyes or red hair. You can make choices that improve your children's chances of having normal jaw growth and a normal bite.
This is what makes me so angry about people excusing away prejudice against "ugly" people on reproductive fitness grounds. Yeah, before we started understanding how all this stuff fits together, looks were all we had to go by--but so much of looks is how we grow rather than how our DNA is encoded, so people are really much better off seeking out life partners on the basis of character as much as, or even more than, someone's appearance.
it is so terribly sad that kids and even adults treat others based on personal appearances. As a child w/ a congenital heart defect, I wasn't bullied but it was terrible being "different" than everyone else and not being able to take part in phy-ed or other events because of my heart. My daughter has cerebral palsy and so far the kids at school are very good to her but I dread the day that somebody makes fun of her to her face. And by the way, I did not see an ugly duckling in any of your photos either!
I didn't see you as ugly in those pics, either, but I'm sure the kids made you feel that way. Thanks for sharing your story of triumph with us. Great hub! Your last statement makes me wonder, though, if I should dye my hair blond? :-) Congrats on hub of the day!
Really beautiful story from a clearly amazing person. Undoubtedly, you're stronger today for having gone through all that. It's tough when you're a kid, because other kids are trying to fit in, and if they can find someone to tease, well, hey, it takes the attention off of them. Thanks for sharing your story. Pretty awesome.
This is really a wonderful hub. I really feel for you and how long you had you had to deal with all this - literally your entire years growing up.
I honestly can't tell the problem in your pictures, and I think you are pretty, even in the younger pictures. But, I have had braces, so I know the pain you went through. I had the opposite problem of yours - I had an over-bite. I, too, had to wear a huge head brace at night to pull my upper teeth back - I wore it to bed every night for two years, so I can relate to crying in pain all night long. After that, I still had braces and then retainers, and I wasn't finished until I was 17 years old. What we go through to be beautiful! If my problem hadn't been taken care of Iwould have had buck teeth today. Thank heavens my parents took me to an orthodontist.
I didn't have the bullying you did about my over-bite or braces. My experiences with bullying were minor. But I really empathize with you and I know it taught you so much about people and true friends.
Congratulations on being hub of the day! This is very well-written.
You do not appear ugly at all in the first photo. What you went through took amazing strength. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. :)
Very heartfelt article -- really touched me. But like freecampingaussie, I was confused at first because I didn't see anything ugly about your photos of you as a young girl. I have the same condition you had, but didn't get to go to an orthodontist. The trouble is now my right jaw is giving me a lot of problems and surgery is said to seldom help. I'm happy for you that you got help in your teens.
Kudos on all the great comments you received. Hubpages really is a very caring community.
Thanks RTalloni! I appreciate your kind words!
What a beautiful thought Dear God. If only we had one quater of that kind of grace. Thanks for that. It is a deep and powerful thought.
Thanks laurathegentleman. You look beautiful to me. Self love and self acceptance aren't always mastered by the very young till later in life and sadly, sometimes never at all. I am glad you found yours. Thanks for sharing your story and your kind words.
Thanks so much for sharing this Ms. Lizzy. I dislike the judgement on exterior beauty as well. I didn't realize you were skilled in the martial arts. Good for you! I think that is a wonderful answer for empowering bullied children. That is an excellent suggestion! Thanks for visiting and keep kicking butts!
You were gorgeous before and after! I had an expander as a kid too-- I hated it- especially the way it would move my front teeth apart after my mom turned the key. However, I ended up with a great smile, so it was worth it.
I was bullied in high school (I wrote a Hub on the story) so I can empathize with the way other people treated you. I wish I could stand up to every bully that picks on others. Great Hub and congrats on Hub of the Day!
Thank you debsjharrison. I appreciate that!
Thank you so much Express10! It is because I have wonderful colleages like you!
That is so true Anamika! Thanks so much for sharing that.
Thanks so much sam209! You are on your way as well!
Thanks for your kind response freecampingaussie! We have a lot in common!
Thanks Dana,
That is very deep! I have three grown sons. They all had beautiful, naturally straight teeth. I was SO glad. Thanks for sharing this side of the condition. I didn't realize all of that was possible.
Thanks Victoria! I appreciate that.. and the sense of humor. ;)
Thanks Ervin Victor. Thanks for taking the time to read this and to leave such a wonderful comment!
Thanks so much for sharing your story Suzettenaples. From what I have heard, the head brace was very painful as well. I am sorry you had to suffer as well. :( Thanks for the kind kudos. I always appreciate your words!
Thanks so much for your comment Nights Dream. It is a pleasure to meet you here on hubpages.
I never saw ‘ugly’ in any of those photos! Thanks for sharing such a personal story. Im sure it will help others dealing with bullies and its obvious that your dealings with bullies when younger actually gave you the upper hand today because you are such a strong confident woman now
Congratulations on the Hub of the Day, Tammy! This is a great Hub that speaks truth. I can see even from your earliest photos that you always had a great smile! What makes a person beautiful is what is on the inside. When we die, people remember us more for who we were than for how we looked! You are beautiful inside and out! Kudos to you for posting this! Voting up and SHARING!
JSMatthew~
Thanks for your visit Pamela Kinnaird W. I am really sorry you didn't get help with this problem when you were young. I am not up on recent developements in this practice, but I would suggest getting different opinions from specialists. There are things that can be done without the jaw attachment surgery. I am not sure how old you are but when your wisdom teeth come in, they are a BIG problem whether you have had treatment or not. I hope you are not living with jaw pain. :( Thanks for stopping by and keep me posted.
Thanks for sharing your experience Shanna11. I remember feeling my nose bones move when the key was turned. I will check out your hub as I too dislike bullying. Thanks so much for your visit.
Thanks WebsiteConfettti,
That is a wonderful comment. Thanks for reading and visiting. This is such a wonderful community!
Thank you J.S. Matthew,
It is good to see you. Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot coming from someone like you who is also a beautiful person on the inside. I appreciate that!
Great story. It is very sad how appearance can determine the life and self confidence of a great person. Thanks for sharing!
Courageous and wonderful story. You've been through a much pain, but are channeling it for good. What an inspiration.
You were such a beautiful young girl, and never should have conceived of yourself, as being ugly. You actually looked quite precious and sweet. I think that we all at some time in our lives feel insecurity and most of us grow out of it, or at least learn to deal with our feelings over time..
What an inspirational story! Thank you for sharing it. And I am sharing with my friends.
Congratulations for Hub of the day award. This article deserved it. Voted up!
I was bullied a lot in middle school the went to an all girl high school were competition was based more on academics and athletics which helped me a lot, but there were still bullies there, the only difference is they were the "unintelligent" ones who couldn't keep up with the group of us that may not have been on the cover of vogue, but managed to take and comlete every ap class there was to offer. I think you started out beautiful when you were young and still are today. Remeber i's not others that judge us that counts it's the final judgement of what we have done to and for others that truely matters.
Thanks Robie! I appreciate your comment!
Thanks lindacee! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!
Whonunuwho,
Interesting name.. :) Thanks so much for your kind words. I agree with your statement. I feel bad for those who don't grow out of it. Great thoughts!
I think you are very beautiful and always have been. You are as God intended you to be. All of God's creation is beautiful in it's own way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sorry you were bullied when you were younger, you did not deserve that, no one does. I hope you have forgiven them for they know not what they do. Peace and love to you :)
Thanks for sharing this. Isn't it amazing how the very things that were the "dark nights of our soul" become the "bright light of a new day"? I know that some of my darkest times were the very things that shaped and molded my character and enlarged my heart and ability to empathize and love others more. I hope your story encourages others who find themselves in the midst of hard circumstances. :-)
Hi Tammy
You were a beautiful girl and now you are a beautiful lady.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was bullied because I was shy and overweight but I didn't have to endure what you had to go through.
Voted up and away
Take Care
Thanks for sharing such a personal journey. Voted up. You are gorgeous!
Very inspirational post. Thank's for the information about bullying.
Tammy, this is a very beautiful hub. I was also an ugly duckling. Though I didn't get teased as much as you did, I can imagine how you felt. I really hate bullies. You are very blessed to have a wonderful family who isn't as shallow as the bullies. You did the right thing by focusing on your studies. You're a beautiful person inside and out.:) Voted up and congrats for being the hub of the day.:)
cheerfulnuts
Honestly , before I read your hub I was looking at the pictures and was admired by your beautiful appearnce . I say to myself "what a lovely and swan lady" whether when you were child or adult and finally being women . So, you never been ugly !. I really value your experience and the impressing thing is what life was learning you when you were struggling at school days
Thanks so much for reading and commenting urmilashukla23!
Thanks for sharing your story honeybunnybun. Academic pressure is another difficult aspect of growning up. You provide great words of wisdom here. Thank you so much for sharing that.
Thank you so much zzron. I have forgiven every person a long time ago. I think kids will be kids and they shouldn't be held accountable for what they do when they are young because you never know what their influences were or what they too may have been dealing with in life. Thank you for your beautiful words and kindness.
Thanks for sharing that Seek N Find. I hope so too!
Thanks for sharing your story Sueswan. I am sorry you had to deal with these things as well. I appreciate your visit and your comment.
Thank you Cosmic Bus. You are very kind.
Thanks vbulletinskins!
Thanks for dropping by Cheerfulnuts. I am glad to see you are still here on Hubpages. I thank you for your kind comment.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Adeem. That is very kind of you!
Thank-you for sharing your story. I personally don't even notice anything out of the ordinary when I view the pictures, and I see a very pretty little girl there.
I also know some of what you went through. I was horribly teased in middle and in high school. I had braces for 3 years, had my upper jaw stretched out with the same type of device as you had, had my lower jaw shrunk (by them removing two teeth), and had two gum surgeries.
I all too well remember the pain of that metal key turning with incredible pain and throbbing. I also remember the pain from whenever my braces were adjusted. I do not at all miss the days when eating a piece of soft, white bread was painful.
If nothing else, we got through it, we're better for it, and thanks for letting me know I wasn't 'alone'.
I agree with the first commentor, who said you were NEVER ugly. Those photos show a perfectly normal-looking girl, to me.
Kids in school (some kids, not everyone by a long shot) will pick on someone over and over, rubbing the sore place (whether it be weight, facial appearance, or lack of athletic ability) all day long, until the victim's life is pretty damn bleak at school. I know, I was there. Judging by the poll, a LOT of people were right there with us, and somehow we all did get through it, and became much better people than our tormentors could ever hope to be.
Thank you for writing this hub. I hope all the kids whose school life is miserable on account of teasing and bullying get to read it.
Thanks for sharing your story Moon Willow Lake. You are right though, we are better for having it done when we were young. It would be difficult to go through these things as adults with jobs and responsibilities. I am glad you turned out better too. Thanks for visiting!
Thanks for your kind words Paradise7. Bullying is a big problem for us then and for kids now. It is a shame these bullies don't have more constructive things to do. I am glad you turned out well also.
I think your after photos are beautiful, but I really, truly did not see an "ugly girl" in the photos from before. I have a friend who has the same issue and will require surgery to fix her jaw, once they remove her braces. She is not looking forward to the pain of having her jaw broken.
Thanks for sharing that Donna. That is so scary. I hope she will make it through this procedure without pain. I appreciate your visit.
you never looked ugly, from a small child to a grown up woman. you looks beautiful. nice to read such a beautiful hub.
wonderful story. I enjoyed so much..
Great hub, tammyswallow!
You were not an ugly duckling. Those who bullied you were the ugly ducklings. When they taunted you, they must have been looking in a mirror instead of at you. I am happy that you are pleased with yourself. Stay well.
Thank you cookingrecipies! I appreciate the read and the comment.
Thanks Winbo!
Tammy, congratulations getting "Hub of the Day"!
I had a similar experience (though your orthodontic history was more extensive and painful - ow!), and I really appreciate having had the chance to develop other parts of myself that weren't related to my appearance. We don't get to choose what we look like, so why are we judged by it? "Beauty is not equated to any person's value as a human being. " Amen to that. If all goes according to plan, we'll all get old, wrinkled and lose whatever physical beauty we enjoyed during our youths. It's this incredibly ephemeral thing that people place so much stock in. Let's start evaluating others on something that actually matters at the end of the day, like what kind of impact they've had on their fellow man.
Voting up!
P.S. Thanks for the follow! You must've felt me reading your Hub :)
Thanks Camille! Great thoughts and a very inspiring mindset. We should all strive to leave a loving legacy. Thanks so much for reading and for your wonderful words of wisdom.
You were beautiful as a child, a teen and now as an adult, because God created you, and since God is perfect, He makes no mistakes, God Bless you, It's sad that you had to endure that type of abuse.
WOW, WOW, WOW Tammy ~ I am so behind on my reading and so sorry I have not read this earlier. First of all, I really admire your writing here. Wonderfully presented. I began reading all the comments, but gosh, I will be here forever.
I, too, wore an expander. I got it on when I was in 8th grade. I turned the key daily for over a year. It was painful but what I remember the most is food getting stuck, yuck. My parents bought me a "water pick" at that time which helped.
Then came the braces for four years. I am shocked at how similar the stories are. And the same as you and Myth said too, I got my braces off just before senior pictures and graduation.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. I am so glad this great piece got Hub of the Day. Honestly, I don't always understand why some of the hubs are chosen, but this one, absolutely well deserved!
Sharyn
Well said Judy54! I appreciate your kind words.
Sharyn,
Thanks so much for stopping by! Hubpages is a great place where we all get to eachother through our work and find people that we have so much in common with. I would never have know that you too went through all of this. Thank you for your kind words and wonderful comment!
Sharyn you were never ugly. l am totally with you on seeing people for what they can be and how important it is to value friends that love you for the real reasons. l was not bullied or taunted at school, but l was an outsider and l know how it feels to have people who wouldn't give me the time of day want to befriend me all of a sudden when l grew up.
You are a very well rounded person thanks to your experiences and yes you are ugly.
Hi Tammy... wonderfully written by a talented writer. Hate the lies we were told as children... you were a beautiful child and a lovely lady... Keep writing we love your style and grace.
Hugs from Canada
Thanks so much Rolly Chatbot!
I am so sorry for what you had to go through. I know you feel it made you stronger, but NO CHILD (or person) should go through what you did!!!! You were not an ugly child at all. In fact, when I saw the title and that cute picture of you as a little girl, I had to read the story, because I was like no way, that is not an ugly duckling! But even if you were ugly (which you weren't) it would be no excuse for others to treat you that way.
Thanks for your kind words eclecticeducation. I appreciate that very much.
What a fantastic hub, and congratulations on Hub of the Day! I thrive on these kind of stories. They are my favorite to read. I was constantly bullied as a child too, so I can totally relate. I was teased because of my big ears. I eventually had them "pinned" and some of the bullying stopped, but not all. Bottom line, you're a beautiful person, inside and out! Voted up, beautiful and awesome, and will be sharing this everywhere!
Thank you so much Hub Tub. I am sorry you had to go through this as well. I appreciate your visit!
My pleasure, Tammy. Always enjoying visiting!
Great Hub! Love your honesty. You were never, ever, ugly. We all go through those awkward stages sometimes kids go through them quicker than others and then seem to forget that stage so quickly......ugh, kids can be so brutal. Your story should be shared....voted way UP!
Looked at this Hb again. IF the pix at the bottom were here before I did not see them, but this is a comprehenive view of body image/bullying problems. As someone above said, you were never ugly, but you are beautiful now at any rate!
Thanks so much for your kind words Joesy. I appreciate that very much.
Thanks for saying that xstatic. It has been a wonderful experience writing it. I appreciate your lovely words.
This is a true inspirational story for people in need of transforming themselves. An education from the very core of real life both for bullies and those bullied; despite the fact that in a rather sophisticated environment like this, only once-bullied people will find momentary relief in your words, knowing now that they were never alone -- but the typical bullies discussed will keep roaming around free, unchecked. More and more articles are getting published about the problem of bullying at school, concerning particularly boys with small statures and sensible, caring natures and girls mostly overweight or "ugly" according to the society's standards, as physical beauty stands for the main criterion of acceptance for females, from both a male's and female's point of view. Many aggressive females will seek to satisfy their superegos and pump up their reflected self-image on online websites by reciting tales of how much they scored in a bar in a single night; however such over-pretentious and narcissistic attitude, similar to alpha males who abuse their powers, is most probably a subconscious response to some feelings unfulfilled, some needs remained unmet, in the most typical case, a daughter's unconditional love left unanswered by a careless father. None of this suggests however that one should give in to all his/her physical deformities, the way you've beautifully described in your own story. Attaining a given level of social compatibility by meeting some general physical standards is definitely required in order to survive in the society -- to get jobs, to connect with people, all the same while spending your valuable, intimate time with people who actually deserve to be in that inner circle. Now that I'm reminded of this problem, I feel really sorry for celebrities who mistake dissemblers for true friends and in their immediate absence once they're down in popularity, get lost in heavily depressive phases, some times, don't even "make it". Mira Sorvino's portrayal of Marilyn's ending is the perfect example. Last but not least, I'd definitely have asked that girl in the white shirt out. It's actually good to see that hard work pays off! Up and SHARED!
This is the most thoughtful comment I have ever recieved on Hubpages! You hit the nail on the head with the development of the types of personalities and childhood occurances that contribute to this type of behavior. Absent and careless fathers seriously impact the self esteem of forgotten daughters. They can be stunning and beautiful but they seek the approval of any male and if they seek the approval of a male in their age group, it usually only comes by portraying sexuality. I raised 3 sons and I was stunned to get hold of their phones to find what sort of photos the females were sending them. They are also all over facebook. There are so many dimesions to this problem and they all start with a child's early development. Thank you so much for reading and for such a thought provoking and interesting comment.
Aya Katz 3 months ago
I don't think you were ever ugly. All the pictures show a beautiful little girl or young woman.